Friday, August 31, 2012

"Turn that frown upside down!"

When stuck in a mental rut, the best thing to do, I find, is to be thankful.

So here is my wee bit forced thankful list, there are ALWAYS things to be thankful for in life!

Strong coffee

My bubbly, fun loving, happy young girl who is growing up way too fast and who I adore x

Sisters, Wellington, silly photos x

Laughing at grumpy kids in boxes....

Sprinkles.... makes anything yummy!

Happy and settled boy at kindy- found his click x

Feeling better already.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Photo Drop...

The 'D' word...

The 'D' word:

Call it the rain filled Winter?

Call it the never ending family sicknesses?

Call it the massive gaps in sleep?

The family circumstances?


Bit of a bump in the road?

Or, all of the above?

I am not too sure.

This is a word that I do not throw around lightly. I know there are a load of people who suffer from depression regularly, badly or their whole lives and I know it is obviously the real deal. I also know however that the word depression does get used a lot and in some cases overused. I have not looked into it at all in my life or given it a second thought other than a few friends and family of mine who suffered from it. It was not really in my mental dictionary.

I have an 'otter' personality. You can look yours up on this personality site- there are heaps of others and ones where you can do a test, bu this outlines the basics.

 I am otter who tries (because of circumstances being a mother and a wife) to take on the beaver traits- often failing as this does not come naturally.

As for most otters, we have amazing highs and low-lows. We ride life like a wave but we are easily switched out of a low or down from a high. We are passionate. We can be quite emotional. Therefore, knowing my personality, I can read when the tide changes and I know it is this and it will soon pass.

What about then when I can't switch it off for once?
When nothing actually breaks this low into a high, or even to a neutral state?
Things seem boring, tiring, depressing and bla...

Over winter, thanks to all the above circumstances I found myself in a (dare I say it?) depression.

Or, one tired otter!

I said to hubby one day, "I'm not sure what is going on right now, but I think I may be depressed!?"

A foreign concept for me....

So here I sit, thinking as I write these words it will help more and to also point out that life isn't always a high, just like the county side there are hills, valleys, caves and fences. We all get a turn in one of these areas at some stage and I guess the important thing is how we get ourselves out to carry on our walk over the hills.

Pulling back a bit has helped as we have always kept busy, too much at times.
Focusing on who and what I love, taking a short trip away to find my individuality again, especially as a mum and doing some re-focusing. 

Who am "I"?
What do "I" like doing?
What do "I" want to do when my label isn't purely just "mummy"?
What do "I" actually think about that issue?




Even though these questions stemmed from a little low point,
I am enjoying this time to think, learn and grow in myself...

There, it is out there... now I need to change the word depressed to "down".

Sounds better ;)

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Homemade gifts

Simple gifts.

I have made my first home made hamper for my father in law's birthday.

This is something I have had a heart for for so long but have never had enough quality home made or grown items to fill a basket.
These are early days but I was so proud to be able to give a gift like this to someone special.

Oranges, mandarins, eggs, herb salt and macadamia nuts scattered underneath.

Can't wait to make many more for you all x

My sneeky re-weigh in (wk4) ...

The day after yesterday...

I was not impressed with my wee gain the other day so I stepped it up the next day and re-weighed myself the next morning just to make it all ok in my head. I know there may be weeks when I gain some but I really want to avoid these and loose something/anything each time.

Wednesday morning= 59.4kg.


Yesterday I went for a walk, a very relaxed one but a walk all the same!
I won't say I skipped breakfast... because actually I realised i'm just having breakfast at a normal hour.

*Having two little early rises in our family, from five years ago we have all woken at 6am, or earlier.
This is when we eat all together and quite frankly I am never hungry at this hour!
So, as the kids have grown I have had a coffee with them and waited until I have felt hungry for this meal and it could be 9am or 10am... so this sets me up for breakfast and i'm still not hungry at lunchtime.

Porridge. Covered with a tub of yogurt and seeds and nuts and a tiny bit of maple syrup.

I know this isn't the healthiest out with my little toppings but I figure it is my big main meal of the day, I want to last until the afternoon and I will be burning this meal off, so it's not too bad.

By about the afternoon I become hungry again and have been reaching for fruit.
Multiple cups of tea and bottles of water- yes, this is a great trick!

Dinner: I was all set to have soup...then I thought "yeah nah." I have a big container in the fridge full of soup already made up- another helpful hint of mine, that works for me.

I joined the family and had spag bol but on a blue plate ooooo ever heard of this one? Food looks bigger so you eat less.... I had a little helping, stopped myself at this and had a cup of tea.

Later hubby and I had a well deserved 'date night', I will post about what these are soon and had two small glasses of red wine..... and half a dozen olives with some feta cheese.

I held off the urge to eat the pudding I had made the night before and lucky I didn't because even after a few healthy treats just before bed, this kind of day worked and I am now safely under my first goal.

On to the next goal: 58.5kg (I find it helps breaking the goals down so it feels more do-able) so I have under 1kg to loose this week.... not tooooo daunting.

Are you joining me in this? Let me know, I love to hear your feedback and suggestions! If you don't want to post publicly, find my email address on the contacts tab- thanks!


Monday, August 20, 2012

Numbo four!



Tiny tiny bit back on- at least it is not a big gain but feels dumb to be back on THAT number.


I am feeling sumwhat healthy for the first time this winter and feeling more strength to nail this.

-This week I have been skipping breakfast (naughty I know)
-Having porridge everyday as a late breakfast to tie me over until afternoon tea
-Eating fruit for arvo tea
-Small dinner
-Sometimes seconds however.... gotta stop doing this
-Last night I baked.
-No more baking!
-Loads of water and tea!
-Walks this week

Feeling motivated!

Let's continue...

Current goal to get back under 60 and stay there, 59kg would be nice by next week!

3-4 weeks in...


JUST under the 60kg -first goal made!

To scared to put any food in my gob being this close! (but of course I still did!)

- Sickest for the longest I've ever been! One month and things are not letting up.
- I still have these goals clearly in my mind however.
- One jog- bliss!
- No time to myself
- Feeling the 'D' word for the first time in my life.
  Not just up and downs but the 'D' word as much as I don't like to use it!
  Tying to shake it.

- Chocolate visited.
- Wine visited more.

-Average, average week eating, very off and on.

But still sticking to this!